Groups x Circles x Dreams.

Hmm, today wasn't that of a good day actually.

'cause i broke my ankle yesterday and had to stay home. so i really felt bored. !@#$

But then after. i actually read someone else's blog and also checked on my old school mates. I wonder how are they now. Haven't been seeing them for ages. That's so not right of me, HAHA xD

Well, but what really hit me was that i noticed that many of my old school mates are actually pursuing their dreams. And i was like, " wth? they are at the same age as me and they are like.. 1-2-100-- == like so many steps ahead of me!! " well obviously that didn't feel good. zzz

But just you guys wait, i'll catch up real soon! You'll guys will be looking at my back!

Tears.

Its already a year but i still missed him. I missed you, Bryan.

Limits.

Without any hints i know im at my limit. the den of tears shall be destroyed.

here we go again~

i really don't know what happened. i've been hugging my guitar alot lately. maybe becoz she's the only one i can hug.

i even go blank more often now. or stare at a spot and dunno what im looking at. what is wrong with me ah? when i read ppl's blog its like woah they are living a good life . (singing one republic's "Good Life" ) and i'll really smile, coz im really happy for them =)

but then . what about me.? whats my target? i dont remember. what's my purpose? i dont remember? from the look of it its like im suffering from amnesia. but i think my body knows it well.

somehow, the air is hard to breath.

Well, i guess i did learn something.

Holy snack! == wasted my whole holiday.
and now im writting my blog like there's no class tmr.

But something's different. At times like this i used to get really stressed out and get EMO. ==

but this time i felt calm instead. not frustrated, not unhappy, but calm.
i could smile and tell myself " ok, lets do it again until u get it right, again, and again. "

suppose this is the growth that was installed in me without myself noticing huh? haha

and now, bed time. Nite peeps.
Love the world. Love myself.

I've lost something important and i dont know what to do.

.

老实说，我很想家。 可是又很想继续旅行，真是矛盾。
不过我知道一件事，我需要大减肥！TT

I do not understand.

I don't know why.
I feel so empty.
Why is this so.
Please tell me why.

Receive. Think. Process.

You all laugh because I'm DIFFERENT, I laugh because you are all the SAME.

I cried again.

There's so many people i missed. and so many things that i have learned. am i able to pass this test or not. this shall be my challenge.

Still not doing fine.

Something is still very wrong.
To be hurt by the people who i trusted most is certainly a big wound for me.
what should i do right now?

When can this ever stop. When.

After such a long period of time. these unpleasant returned to me.
Why is this?
they happened before. when i get too far ahead for things, people just think that im weird.
what's wrong with being ahead of things? you'll be knowing it sooner or later right?
what's wrong with being fast?

just like what happened before if i listen to a new song at 1st hand, people think i got bad taste.. when they themselves go crazy over it like few months later.. dang..

why is this happening again.. why why and why. can anyone tell me that?
im just feeling so cold. like im being isolated in an island.

there you go Yang, back to how u used to be. cold and alone.
that's why your hands are always so damn cold and couldn't give warmth to the people you care. not to mention getting close to the people u care. screw that.

Fuh~

突然的失落，不知道该开心还是难过，还是两者兼是。
arghh.. why am i thinking so much? *runts, gahh! *
かしながら、いずれにしても。 . あなたが幸せであるという状態で、私は同じく満足していて、そして幸せに感じます。

aiyaya... xP

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........
Somehow somehow somehow...
I don't feel too right. =_=
a bit of emo, and a bit of loneliness, a bit excited.. abit of err.. urhmm.. whatever.. ZZZ

just dunno what went wrong with me.. aihz. !@#$%^&
hope i'll recover soon.

Been in Kerkeri, New Zealand for about 2 weeks now.. packing job is about to start .. (finally.. duh)
well, still havent really explore this place.. dunno whats there to do?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........... (here we go again.. ahahah)

but now's bed time. 0043 here.
better be hitting the bunk now. x)

night peeps. night world. =)

Hmm......

不懂做么， 突然觉得有一点寂寞和emo... =.=
aiya , 不懂啦~ 睡觉去.. （顶级享受.. nyahahahahahaha.. ）

good nite world.
Also, prayers for Japan and Christchurch.
Oyasumi~ =)

柴犬奇迹物语, Mari and the three puppy.

今天，到 pack house 那里 training. 听了一大堆，准备下个星期开工。

是学了不少可是不懂到时会不会做。。 哈哈~xD

然后就回到堂姐家。吃了午餐，就上网。ahaha, typical couch potato. LOL

然后呢， 看到了一个对我来说重要的人的部落格， 她好像是压力很大。可是我完全不知道。觉得很心酸咯。。T_T

== ishh.. 好希望能为她做点什么。。

不过当我看到她写的最后一句时， 多少也放心了一些。 哈哈~ ^^

hey, 要加油叻！我知道你一定可以的。 因为我说你行你就行， 我说你不行你就不行！ 啊哈哈哈哈~

(看太多戏了。。 =_=)

后来我看到一个短片，是说一位老爷爷和他的孙女养了一只柴犬和三只幼犬。

一切都还好，直到有一天晚上发生了地震，柜子倒下压倒他们。被绑在外面的柴犬--玛丽， 拼命把绳子挣断， 为的就是进屋里看主人有没有大碍， 连它的脚都被地上的碎玻璃割到流血。

到了早上， 有急救队到附近寻找需要帮助的人。 玛丽很聪明地把两位急救人员找来帮忙。因此， 老爷爷得救了咯。

可是，因为爷爷的流血不止。 玛丽和三只幼犬却没得上直升机，被留在那里。 小主人被救时不停地问， “那玛丽呢？玛丽也会上直升机吧？ ”

虽然只是电影的一部分， 可是我每看一次都会掉眼泪。 心里也会觉得难过。

我想如果看整套戏的话我会哭的很狼狈吧， 可是我还是想看。

剩下的，下次再说吧。 =)

我要飞喽！！

现在2.50，不过我没有睡。。 因为等下就要坐飞机去纽西兰了！！！

一去就是四个月， 而且是第一次离家这么远。又紧张又兴奋又不舍。。 T_T

在准备的期间，学到了不少东西。。 内心也 key in 新的设定。。

希望这一次去，能够收获良多。。 回来后就不能是小孩子了！ 能的话啦。。。=_=

内心还是有点挣扎。 而且 hor。。 看到朋友们实施顺利时， 一 来为他们开心，可是自己又酸酸的。。 扬啊扬， 要振作咯。。 不然又要被骂了。 刚喝了点酒，有点写不出东西。。 哈哈。

剩下的就下次再写啦！

Bye Bye Malaysia! xPP

哭

心里又因故很难受的感觉。

要怎么让它散去，我不知道。

只是知道自己现在很想哭。

很痛快很痛快的大哭一场。

怎么办？

有自杀的念头时应该怎么办？ 谁来告诉我？

突然，觉得好想逃离这一切。

没有理由也没有目的。

不管怎么样都想逃得远远的， 越远越好。

就是想离开这一切。

除了头脑在想， 连身体也有同样的想法，正在不规律的颤抖。

拳头无法握紧，精神无法集中。

身体一直有种无力感。

我到底怎么了？

a post to myself. =3=

yang. time to wake up.

you gotta do this.

its now or never.

lets do it.

ready.

set.

go!!

nooooooo~~

bad feelings go away pls ~

go away pls ~

go away pls ~

go away pls ~

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a-haa.. ?

lol. today woke up real early. helped to prepare my sister's bento. and then it started raining.
something weird about it. is i start to feel sleepy when it started to rain..
so i went back to bed and sleep for 30 mins. and then when the rain stopped, i woke up. O_O???
and this continued for 2 to 3 times.. walao.. ^^v

there's quite alot that i want to write down. since it's been so long since i write.
but now im going to bed again. later only finish up this post.. a-haa..